My sweet boy

My sweet boy has passed. 

Obi was the best dog ever, and it hurts to think about the last few weeks of his life. One day he was fine, the next day he couldn’t keep any food down or have solid poop. It doesn’t feel real. It feels like someone's playing a joke, and I keep looking around for the cameras. But this is real. Obi was only 8. Our other dog Leo is 14, and I’ve been preparing myself for his death because he’s getting older. But never in a million years would I have guessed Obi would die first. I still can’t believe it.

On Thursday I sat with him outside before I left. He always just wanted to be by us, no matter where we went. He liked being outside, but only if he was ‘working’ because he’s an Australia Shepard. He wasn’t one to just hang out and lay outside. But the last week of his life, all he wanted to do was lay in the grass, no matter if we were with him or not. So I just sat with him. I sat and told him all my favorite moments with him. Going to the dog park, cuddling with him, and even when he bit that girl's finger. I couldn’t help but laugh when we talked about the last one. I tried to hold back my tears because I didn’t want him to feel like him dying was stressing me out. I sang him a song, and he just laid there. A man’s best friend. 

Heartbreak is hard. I’ve been thinking a lot about death this last week. Why do we have to experience heartbreak and why do the things we love have to die? If we didn’t have to experience heartbreak, we wouldn't get to experience love. And man did I love Obi. Would I trade this heartbreak for all the memories I had with Obi? The answer is no. I loved every moment with him, and every second I was with him filled me with so much joy. And although it hurts, I would do it again, and again, and again. Some of my hardest and happiest moments are ahead of me and it hurts to think about all the excruciating pain I might feel one day, but it’s also an opportunity for me to experience the richest of loves. The love of a partner who will adore me and build a wonderful life with me. Children that will fill my heart with so much joy. 

How lucky are we to get to experience this human life and to feel. 

So lucky.